BITCH OF A CERTAIN AGE

Now that I have reached a certain age. Acquired knowledge & wisdom. Explored my surroundings in many & varied locations. Sharpened my skills & done my assignments & duties well & as required. Sometimes exceeding expectations. Now that I’ve got my ducks in a row & my poop in the proper receptacle . . . now I find that occasionally & sometimes I’m too pooped to participate.

Been there.

Done that.

So . . . sometimes I just gotta lets things go. You know . . . slide. Cause my faculties don’t work like they did in past days.

To be sure, I perform my duties & responsibilities as required. But sometimes I let that pesky squirrel bury peanuts in the planter on the deck out back. What the heck. I don’t think he’s hurting anything. Sometimes I even get a peanut outta the deal.

& for instance, previously, I made sure to corral the cats (they’re so humpy & hissy. What’s the good of keeping them in their place?). So I let a few cross my path without challenge or encounter. Every cat I ever Hi-4ed got all smug & snotty, so I’m not gonna waste my energy on them anymore.

& also, another example, squirrel wrangling in the park basically wastes my energy chasing them up & around trees. They just snicker & laugh at me up there in their tree they know I can’t climb even if I wanted to. Besides, it kinda stretches some weary muscles & bones & not in a good way. These bones is weary bones.

Getting so I’m not trusting my trusty old ears anymore either. Sometimes I don’t hear something happening right near me until it sneaks up & scares me. Mymi thinks it’s selective hearing & I just ignore her conversation & commands. Welllllll . . . sometimes.

There’s Postal Patrol which doesn’t bring the satisfaction it used to. Previously I would have to scramble across the hot (in the summer, like now) blacktop to the mailbox on the other side of the street. I left pee-mail for my little friends, Buttercup & . . . her name escapes me at the moment. Now it’s something of a chore to cross the streets being as they are so hot. Curbs a K9’s enthusiasm.

More & more I’m experiencing difficulty leaving pee-mail to mark my paths & routes around the neighborhood. I gotta try & try & it gets frustrating not to communicate with my homies here in the neighborhood. I tried puddlewater, poolwater, gutterwater, even the water in my bowl, warm or with icy cubes in it. Zip. Zero. Hardly nuthin’.

All of this causes great concern & consternation to Mymi & My Auntie Judy. So it has been decided that I must get checked up & checked out. I went to the vet already. They poked & prodded. They stuck a little biddy needle in me. They said it wouldn’t hurt but I noticed it to be sure.

Mymi says test results are in & indicate that I require further study. Tomorrow I go to My Vet for an abdominal ultrasound which sounds intimidating enough. Even for a courageous K9 such as myself. Among other indignities I face, they are gonna shave my belly to get a better picture of what’s going on in there. Worst of all . . . no breakfast. I may faint away.

Old age sux. & it ain’t for sissies.
OpalK9 OTJ

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